Friday, June 09, 2006


To "manejar" through a jungle filled with Juans, Marios, and Ricardos (oh, my!), a girl needs to be prepared. Here is what I always stash in my bag:

1. Handwipes! OK, ladies, the ugly truth is that there are some people who don't wash their hands after they do their business...and I mean, men AND women. It's gross. And then these guys wanna get their paws all over my dress. Are you kidding me?!?! At the very least, YOU can be hygenic. I should hand these out like condoms. Hand-sanitizing gel would work, too.

2. Face wash or facial wipes. I like to put in 100% when I'm dancing. I like pressing my cheek against my partner's cheek. It just feels so nice and intimate. Unfortunately, you don't know where that cheek has been. Just think about it. If he's a really popular dancer, imagine how much muck from other women is collecting in his pores? And then there's HIS sweat. That muck and sweat is getting all over YOU. It's worse if he has a 5 o'clock shadow because he's basically scratching up your cheek and imbedding all the "mugre" into your pores. My dermatologist here saw lots of microscopic scratches and clogged pores on my right cheek, and I am RELIGIOUS about my nighttime skin cleansing regimen. Now, I try to wipe down a few times during the milonga.

2. Breath mints. You need them even if you think you don't. If your partner is particularly offensive, share the wealth.

3. Kleenex. Runny noses, little accidents, spare toilet paper.

4. Spare tampons. Because you never know.

5. Hand lotion. Washing your hands can take a toll on your skin. To keep your hands feeling and looking as young as a baby's ass, slather the stuff on. The guys will thank you.

6. Band Aids. I have my share of battle scars from other women's heels. Throw a few in your bag, and you're good to go.

7. Spare change. In case you need to tip the bathroom person for your allotted 2 squares of toilet paper.

8. Extra make-up. To think I use to envy the thin lips of my caucasian classmates in elementary school. Now I'm pouting it up like Angelina Jolie. I'm a Blistex/lip balm addict, and lipstick and lipgloss are really only primping products that I use on a consistent basis.

9. Business cards. I got tired of having to write my info. on napkins, so I picked up some pretty and cheap business cards with my name, e-mail, and (will be adding my) cell phone number. They come in handy if you happen to meet the love of your life or of the moment at a milonga.

10. Meds. Yay for self-medicating! My girlfriend does it by shopping. Another friend does it with vodka. I do it with magnesium. Apparently, it's suppose to help with stress. I also throw in some aspirin or Advil, and I always go prepared with my asthma puffer in case I'm surrounded by nicotine addicts.

Keep in mind that your bag doesn't have to end up looking like the local CVS or Walgreens. Buy travel size items, or empty one of those millions of little bottles of hotel shampoo you've stolen over the years, and go to town!


soobin said...

hi! i just discovered your site, and i think it's awesome. :)

thanks for this post, especially the tip about makeup! i think i may add one more thing to my purse:

waterproof eyeliner. i never wear lipstick, but i love accentuating my cat eyes! however, after a tanda with my face pressed against a man's (often sweaty) cheek, my eye liner rubs off, and i end up looking like "alex de large" from a clockwork orange.


Tango Goddess said...

Hi, Soobin - Thanks for writing. You're right. I forgot about the waterproof eyeliner. I'm still in the market for a TRULY waterproof eyeliner. I sweat like a man. It's horrible. Would love to hear the brand you use!

soobin said...

dear goddess,

i use makeup forever's "waterproof eyeliner". it's liquid, compact, and easy to apply in a crowded milonga bathroom, and never rubs off.

but i love powered liners (applied with brush) more than liquid ones, and i thought waterproof powers was an impossibility... until makeup forever came out with their "eye seal". it seals all powdered makeup, especially powdered liners! i love it, it totally works.