Thursday, July 10, 2008

IS THAT A CHORIZO IN YOUR POCKET...?

There are times when I feel extra hot at the milonga, when all the elements come together and just WORK: I've got a great dress on; I'm wearing my expensive support bra from Victoria's Secret that gives me that extra lift and butt-cleavage; I'm not bloated for once; the hair and make-up are cooperating; and people want to tango with me.

I don't know if I also start exuding special pheromones into the atmosphere in these rare moments of hotness, or what, but it is during these occasions when I feel a special schwing-a-ding-ding going on in the nether-regions of a male tango partner or two. It's downright uncomfortable. I mean, surely he notices it. I sure as hell do. What do I do? These are guys with whom I've danced with before. We know each other, joke around, dance, and chau. Now, his little one-eyed monster is saluting me during a tanda. Should I take it as an insult or a compliment?

I like to take is as just a biological, animal heat thing. The poor guys can't help themselves. Their equipment is out there--and, Jungle Sisters, we all know it just takes a stiff breeze to get the boat out of the harbour--and embracing them surely doesn't help matters. Plus, there you are, flaunting your cute Dancing Queen self all over the milonga, whattya gonna do? If they are gentlemen, they will be as as surprised and embarrassed about it as you, so your best bet is to smile and pretend like nothing happened. The moment the tanda breaks, the magic will be gone, and his soldier will be at ease.

The special case, of course, is the pajero (roughly, someone that likes to hacer la paja=masturbate) or franelero (a feeler-upper) who dances with women to get their jollies, in which case, you have every right to cut the tanda short and leave him and his trouser snake abandoned and frustrated on the dance floor.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

BECAUSE I'M JUST FEELING WACKY TODAY

http://solutions.3m.com/wps/portal/3M/en_US/preventive-care/home/products/home-care-therapies/tango/

Drum roll, please! Introducing the Tango Tongue Cleaner!!! Better cleaning, less gagging! Bonus! And look at the pretty colors! :-)
WHERE THE HELL IS MATT?

This is even better than a tango video, and a wonderful way to start your day. Enjoy, everyone, and have a fantastic 9th of July (Argentina Independence Day)!

http://www.vimeo.com/1211060

xoxo - TG